Do you know most successful, resilient, and mentally strong people have one thing in common and that is they don’t let others influence them? They don’t give other people too much power over their life.
You would have encountered situations where you act in a particular way around certain individuals just because you want to please them or when you kill hours or even days thinking about someone’s annoying or infuriating behavior, or when you tend to seek approval of others in a social setting. In all these situations, you tend to give the power to be satisfied, to be content, or to be happy, to someone else. In most situations, people whom you give power don’t even want or realize that you have handed over this power to them. But in reality, the power over these states of mind depends upon us; this power is our inner power and often we don’t tap into it.
When we let someone have a negative impact on our thoughts, feelings, or behavior, we give them power over us. We give them the driving seat on the journey of our life and we take the passenger seat, we let them take us wherever they want; we don’t bother to make a conscious effort to control our thoughts, feelings, or behavior. When we give others too much power over us, we let their criticism influence our well-being. And when we do so, our mental strength diminishes, which is vital to be our best version.
Signs you are too much influenced by others:
- You draw your self-worth from the approval of others
- You can’t say no in situations where it is very hard to say ‘yes’
- You apologize too much even when you are not blamed
- You care a lot about others’ judgment about you
- When your beliefs are influenced by the opinion of others
- When you get into embarrassments most often
- You don’t forget your past insults
How to stop giving people power over you:
Is it meaningful to wait for the approval of others all the time? It would be a really tiring experience for you to wait for the approval of others throughout your life. You would sometimes realize that you are not living your own life, you are just striving to shape the judgments of others about you. Don’t you feel like a puppet, who does what is acceptable by others and avoids what’s not right in the opinion of others? So, don’t wait for the approval of others, and don’t be afraid of disapproval from someone else. You are not meant to please others all the time, don’t act like a people-pleaser, just adhere to your own values.
Should you not shift your focus from people to your own thoughts? Eliminate others from your brain and focus and shift your mental focus towards your thoughts or feelings. Reform your thinking process, don’t let someone else make you feel in a particular way. Live your life the way you want to.
Is others’ opinion more important than your own? Of course not, other people can never decide what’s best for you. You know yourself better, don’t depend upon others’ opinions. It does not mean you must not seek sincere advice, of course, you must but the ultimate decision must be your own. And remember, this does not mean you ruin your relationship with others.
Don’t you think you must work on your relationship with yourself? When you give others power over you, you would hold them responsible for any evil thing or regretful consequences. In fact, you must hold yourself responsible for all this; it is you who let others influence you, even sometimes without letting them know. So, instead of blaming them for the devastating consequence, work on the relationship you have with yourself. In doing so, find the missing links between the past happening and your current behavior i.e. find the exact reason why you allow that person to overpower you. Once you would be able to find the reason, you would be able to work on it and once you would work on it, surely you would be able to refine your relationship with yourself. The magnitude of power you want to give others is totally in your control, now it’s up to you will you let them ruin your upcoming life or will you take control right now. You don’t need to change your response or reactions, you just need to refine your own thought processes.
Should you not focus on making yourself feel content? Of course, you must work for the happiness of others, it will make your soul shine, but it will be a better experience for your soul if you will make yourself happy and content. Because it’s obvious that when you will be content, others around you must be too. So, it’s better to be your own boss than letting others be the one. Thinking about every single word others say about you may make your life stuck in one place i.e. you would be able to move forward without approval from others. All this may hold you back but the key is to take charge and accelerate ahead once you recognize what’s holding you back.
Do you hold a realistic view of the world? Remember you cannot make everyone happy all the time, if you will chase others’ happiness all the time, you will end up giving more power over you to the people around you and they will influence you more. Having a people pleaser attitude will drag you towards an unrealistic view of the world. Pay attention to what you like without approval from others and don’t worry what people would think or say. Be realistic i.e. you can never stop people from criticizing you; you would not be accepted everywhere, accept rejections wholeheartedly; and you can’t be perfect, there would be grudges, there would be regrets, and you have to live with all these things.
So, whenever you give others the power to influence your life, you underutilize your inner power. Don’t let others steal your joy, focus on being the best version of you. First work on your happiness and contentment in life then focus on the happiness of others, your well-being must be your own priority.
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